Wednesday, March 12, 2008

eventful



Currently feeling very unimaginative.
6 months after all the hoping (that it will get better), enjoying, admiring, it's still a wound that doesn't heal. i decide it has to go. the belly button bar. Same process as before- wipe blood off, bandage on, try not to move around too much.
why all this trouble?
belly is healing, again. soft and cushiony, the sight of the 'old' belly without the banana bar is both comforting and soothing.

they say out of sight out of mind. thoughts not revisited, the no longer frequented ways of thinking... habits pull you like a hyperactive dog on a leash. decisions made because they are familiar and thus feel easier. i can get high on thoughts. music puts me in a trance, the mind begins its game, with costumes and props, me travel with me in the land of fantasy.

S. looks like an excited doll all the time, excited and happy (as happy as a painted smile on a doll's face). the way she speaks is a interplay between her lilting voice and the way she bounces on edgy restless feet.

the stillness of the moment and of the mind seems to coalesce into a thin all-encompassing fabric of silence the hangs comfortably in the evening air. it's past mid-night.

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